dating with herpes

People who have herpes can spread it even when there isn’t an outbreak visible. It is spread typically through a sore or saliva. If your partner knows they have herpes they should be taking an oral medication to limit the chances of you getting it yourself.

Another way to help reduce the chances is to use condoms. Condoms won’t protect you one hundred percent of the time, but it will help. You will want to stop all sexual activity between you guys when an outbreak is occurring. Usually, people who have been living with this learn the signs and symptoms of when they are about to have an outbreak too.  

Knowing that your partner is only having sexual relations with you and only you will reduce the risks for you too. These are all just ways to limit the chances of you also contracting herpes, but with being super careful there is a chance you can not get it also.

Can You Know Who Gave You Herpes?

Typically it is not that easy to pinpoint exactly who passed herpes to you. It is something that a lot of people don’t even know they have until a couple of months after they have been exposed. If you get diagnosed with herpes and you have only been sexually active with one person, then you can probably say that’s who you got it from.

The problem is that there is a very high percentage of people who are walking around with no clue that they have herpes. Some will never show the first symptom. The bad part of that is they can still pass it to you regardless if they have symptoms or not.

Do I Legally Have to Tell Someone I Have The Virus?

While it is not legally necessary for you to inform someone you have herpes, it is advised. Unknowingly infecting someone is different than knowing you’re doing so. Having the information that we do about herpes and how people can be infected and not have any symptoms, makes it hard to say someone did it on purpose.

Legal or illegal, the information that you have herpes should be told to your partner. Before the first step of being sexually active. The only way that you can possibly get into some legal trouble by giving someone the disease, is in sexual abuse. When someone is raped and contracts the disease, they could possibly have some legal grounds to stand on.

What Should I do If They Are Unhappy About My Condition?

There are times when telling your partner that you have a sexually transmitted disease is going to feel like the scariest thing you’ve ever done. It is necessary information to disclose to someone though. They may react calmly and they may react out of fear.

Either way, they need to process this new information that you have just given them. Try not to get too upset about their initial reaction. Most likely there will be lots of questions involved, and you should do your best to answer them. Just giving the information to them upfront and answering any questions is showing your care and sense of responsibility.

Ways to Protect My Lover From Getting Herpes

The only true way to assure you will not pass herpes on to a partner is to not have sexual intercourse of any kind. But, in reality, we have to know, that isn’t always going to be able to happen. Just because someone is carrying a sexually transmitted disease, doesn’t mean that they should never be able to have sex again. It means that there needs to be more thought into this and safer steps need to be taken at all times.

The highest possibility for passing on the disease is when there is an outbreak. So, it is exceptionally important to abstain from sexual activity during that time. We know that you can still transmit the disease even when symptoms are not there, but the risk is lower. Using condoms and dental dams can lower the risks of infections. There are also medications that can be routinely taken to help lower your risks of passing it along.

How Often Should They Get Tested?

The tricky part about contracting the virus is the timing in which you get tested. If you for a known fact have had sexual relations with someone who has the virus, then getting tested is the next step. But, you need to wait 2-12 days before you do so. Testing too early can lead to false negatives.

There are some precautions that you can take to be sure not to spread the virus if you think you have been exposed to. Practice abstinence, schedule an appointment with your doctor (preferably on day 12), and if you are already seeing signs of lesions go ahead and see your doctor. Try to stay calm, and take all the precautions to be safe.

You Can Have a Good Love Life

Being diagnosed with herpes does not define who you are. There are still plenty of ways to have a normal healthy sex life while living with herpes. There are everyday steps to take to make the chances of spreading the disease less.

Statistics show that 1 in every 6 people walking around have herpes. It is more common than people like to think that it is. Feeling defeated and like nothing worse can happen, is normal at first. But, chin up, you’ve got this. No, there isn’t a cure for herpes, but there are treatments that make this very manageable. They say that the first outbreak is the worst and they get better over time.

Just know that you are in this right along with so many other people. Don’t feel bad or like you’re a bad person because you have a sexually transmitted disease. It can happen to anyone. Take a deep breath, and keep your head held high.